'I've got the job', my very pleased looking husband said as he walked through the front door. The job in question was to move to the Middle East and become ex-patriots, whilst I was thrilled by the news, I was also frightened. I come from a very large and close family and all lived within an hour's car journey from each other, we all contacted each other by phone or visit at least once a week, our children related as siblings to each other.

But my husband and I had talked at lengths about this particular opportunity before applying. Whilst, we both held good jobs, it appeared that we never seemed to spend quality time alone together. We had four children, eldest age twelve, with two to three years separating each birth. The more money we made, the more taxes etc we paid, standard of living was on the increase, fear for our children's future, my husband's dissatisfaction with current job all conspired to wanting this new opportunity.

Giving up my job was personally difficult, I had worked hard and climbed the managerial ladder, had a very good network of colleagues and close friends. It was wonderful to be guaranteed a job if things did not work out. My husband left two months before us to start work and sort out accommodation, whilst the children completed the end of the school year. They were all initially very excited at the beginning, but as the departure date approached my two older children become anxious about it all. The two weeks before departure is now a blur of activities, more goodbyes, tears and truly getting to know and appreciate what we were now saying goodbyes to.

The arrival and fist impression of Doha, was of intense heat,(we arrived in the middle of August) colours, smells, textures, sounds and the sea of men clothed in white all crowding the meeting area at arrivals at Doha international airport.

The first few weeks were taken up with the various medicals, orientation and excursions tours around Doha organised by the company, my husband worked for. Next was sorting out and enrolling the children into Schools, buying the requisite uniforms, doing a very basic eye test for driving licence purpose.

It is very easy for British citizens to acquire Qatari driving licence, as long as they have a full UK licence. However, if you have not experienced driving in the Middle East before, it is a frightening and chaotic business. To make your venture less intimidating, drive around between the hours of 2-4 in the afternoon and ease yourself into the process gradually.

Soon the children started school and were beginning to form new friendships, the formation of routine, friendships and other leisure activities helped in their settling in. My husband was also settling into his new post, coming home less stressed than I had seem him in a very long time.

For me, whilst noticing all this and doing what I could to insure the smooth running of our lives, I knew I was very resentful and at same time relieved that my family were settling so well. This see saw of emotions made my own acute homesickness worst. As a family, we had decided not to visit England during that first year to give us all a chance to adjust. All now conspired to fuel my homesickness.
Being able to drive and getting from one destination to the next without getting lost was an achievement, through this amazing 'rite of passage', it became easier to manage my isolation and then my homesickness. Genuine friendships soon followed and with this, new adventures, experiences and finally without knowing it enjoyment.

However as the months went by, I began to take an active interest in my new surroundings and to appreciate the new discoveries. The experiences that assaulted my sense and sensibilities in the beginning now brought familiarity and excitement.

You see the difference in me was accepting my part in the decision to migrate and since I had made that choice and my children who had, had less choice in the matter were making a go of it and even enjoying their new lives, I had to pull myself together.

This knowledge was revealed to me when we finally returned to London for the second visit, I found nothing significantly different with friends and family, purchases were expensive, people unfriendly and having rented out our house, stayed with family and friends and found the month we spent almost unbearable. Surprise, surprise I could not wait to get back home, yes that is what our villa in Doha has become, a home to nurture my family and a space to call our own.

After that revelation, I was ready to live and opened my mind to new opportunities We have now been here for three years, this is our first expatriate venture, it will certainly not be our last, the positives outweighs the negatives. Whilst I am aware that every new placement will begin with similar problems as my early months in Qatar, I know that it also brings out strengths that I have not used before as well as strengthen, I have only recently discovered.

It really took me eighteen months to really begin to appreciate what I have and every day brings new discoveries and learning into my life.
I have more quantity time with my children, husband and myself. Like the majority of other expatriate wives in Qatar, I have worked, not in my professional field but in jobs that have broadened my skills and experience of other fields and in the process enhanced my curriculum vitae.

I am fortunate not to have to work to supplement my husband's income, therefore choice to pick and choose and at same time enjoy family life, work and leisure. This combination was a dream in London that has become my reality in Qatar.

I am as busy as I was back in the UK, the difference is in my family's quality of life and at the end of the day, time to reflect and actively enjoy life's delicate and varied tapestry.

So the moral of my story ( especially to women as it is harder for us in a lot of ways) is…… if YOU decide to share the adventure a job offer brings to your household, have the gumption to accept your part in that decision and come with an open heart and mind . Believe me, this will serve you well in the adjustment period..