Well, it was inevitable that the day would come when I would be leaving Doha! That day is now only ten days away and, as I sit here amidst all the boxes and associated chaos of moving from one life to another, I want to think about my experience here.

A few weeks ago I received a fax from a lady whose husband had been offered a position here. She said that she had heard 'all sorts of stories about the restrictive, male dominated business world in Qatar' and was afraid that she would not be easily accepted into the environment. She wanted a brief run down on the likely problems/environment before making any life altering decisions. All I could do was tell her what I know from my own personal experience - and I repeat some of my reply here.

I have lived here for over five and a half years and, despite being a social worker/counsellor in my 'real life' in New Zealand, was offered (within a week) a job with a large oil company here in their Health, Safety and Environment department. It was an adventure in doing something different, but was still in a field that was dear to me…. helping people and keeping them safe. The chances of working here as either a counsellor or social worker were nil. If you are currently faced with a move to Doha there is also a chance that the opportunity to work in your chosen field will also be nil! However, having said that, I have to tell you that I have learnt so much and experienced so many good things since I came here. It has a lot to do with being prepared to think outside the box, not being set in your ways and being prepared to take risks and try new things. If you have your heart set on 'how it must be' for you to be happy, then you place unnecessary restrictions on yourself, on others and on your environment.

If you are prepared to consider some time out in Qatar as a gift to you, an opportunity for you to live a different way and 'be' different - then I would encourage you to come. In these last five years I have become computer literate, continued professional study by correspondence, written for magazines, given a radio interview, given talks to women's groups, started parenting classes, marriage enrichment groups, instigated a professional mental health association, run assertiveness groups and, finally, run a counselling skills workshop. I have travelled - UK, the States, South Africa, Jordan, India - opportunities I would never have had at home because of distance/cost. I keep up with my profession through membership of various organisations and have travelled to UK to attend conferences and workshops. I have learnt to sail, paint in oils, gardened, decorated, got involved on committees and developed a love for working out at a gym - and made some very good friends. I do not believe that I have been restricted in any way - but then, the criteria I came with, while being specific was also wide enough to accommodate adventure! - can I work (yes), can I drive (yes), can I study (yes).

I wasn't too fussed about 'being accepted' - one of the blessings of age I guess. I remember feeling strongly about being an 'asset' and not a liability - a bit like picking up litter off the beach, I wanted to leave Doha a slightly better place for my having been here!

However, now the next adventure beckons and my husband and I are leaving. With hindsight what would I say to someone considering living in Doha:

1. It can be stressful! The men work incredibly hard here and, in a multi-cultural environment, the work can take longer and be more demanding. The early days can be particularly trying. What often happens is the men need their women's support when they are least able to give it and vice versa. I would say, if there are cracks in your relationship then they could grow to chasms here - get rock solid in your relationship before you come.

2. Having help in the home is the most tremendous blessing - make it a priority to sort out domestic arrangements as soon as you can! The temperatures don't lend themselves to you being able to do everything yourself. Make the most of being able to do things other than cooking, cleaning and ironing!

2. The surroundings can take some getting used to, and I know this affects many people. If you come from a beautiful green country where leisure time is rejuvenating and refreshing you might find you have to be a lot more creative in Doha. While there are beaches and sand dunes, and a stunning Corniche, you do need to go a long way to find the rivers, forests and landscape that we took so much for granted at home! You have to 'make weekends happen' and it can be hard work - but it can be done. There is something really awesome about the changing colours of the sand dunes. Sunrise and sunset is incredibly lovely here. The colour of the sea is unreal. It is staggering how much greenery does survive the high temperatures. Qatar does have a beauty of its own which can only be fully appreciated when the comparisons with home stop.

3. Compound living has stresses of its own - there can be something restrictive about working and living with the same people! Some people, with smaller children, love the compound life - others hate it. We have spent most of our time in a private villa with a beautiful garden in a quiet suburb of the city. We have never missed the compound facilities of squash and tennis courts, swimming pools etc but it will depend on your family situation - it can be a tremendous blessing if you have younger children. Despite many horror stories on our arrival here, we have never ever had any problems with security, perhaps aided by our two lively dogs!

4. Heat - you can love it or hate it. It can be draining in the summer (although a lot of people go away most of the summer months) and it can mean you spend a lot of time in cars, shops or home - do you enjoy your own company? However, there can be something rather nice about waking up to sunshine every morning.

5. Your home will be very important, make it beautiful! Don't consider it 'isn't worth the effort or cost as we are only renting' - get some colour on those walls, flowers in pots, rugs on the floor, books on the shelves and pictures on the walls - whatever it takes to make it feel like home - believe me, it is worth it! The car boot and garage sales are a tremendous source of inexpensive nick nacks - and will gladly take them all back when you are ready to leave!

6. It can take anything up to two years to settle and feel 'at home' - much less than that is a bonus. We have travelled for over two and a half decades together and that's just how it has been in my experience. No matter how often you do it, there is always the grief and loss associated with change - leaving family and friends, familiar territory - then having good friends love you and leave you here - it is a transient lifestyle in which we all have 'change' for breakfast!

7. I do believe you need some sort of plan - the vaguer the reasons for your being here, the harder it is to push through the inevitable tough times… the end dream needs to be worth some of the personal sacrifices! Beware of getting 'stuck' with no home in any other part of the world, no savings or plans for the future! It is well to remember that you are a 'guest' in this country and the chances of remaining here forever are very very slim. Beware of becoming complacent and staying just for the lifestyle with no eye on the future.

8. It is a land of opportunity for those willing to be flexible, to work hard, be persistent and to take risks. From a business perspective 'who you know' is important, so you do need to hone those social skills! Doha has certainly presented me with opportunities to do things I would never have been able to do at home - look out for opportunity, screw up your courage and take it when it presents itself.

9. Qatar is gearing up for the Asian Games in 2006 - the building trade is booming, the country is being 'greened' at a phenomenal rate, the skyline at night now accommodates many new high rise buildings. The pace of change is quite spectacular. These are exciting times to be here!

At the risk of being too simplistic, expat living could be summed up by the following little story. There was an old monk who lived in a wood on the outskirts of a large city. One day a traveller came by saying he was on his way to the city, but he had heard that the people there were unfriendly and difficult to live with. The monk merely smiled and said "Doubtless you will find it so". A day or two later, another traveller passed by on the way to the city, and said to the monk that he had heard the people were extremely friendly and hospitable. The monk merely smiled and said "Doubtless you will find it so".

You too will doubtless find what you expect to find - I hope you have high expectations! Qatar has far exceeded my own. I have loved my time here - it has been incredible for personal growth and development in so many surprising ways. I shall miss this little land and leave it all the richer for having been here.

Thinking of making a life for yourself here for a few years? Consider it a gift, come with a positive attitude, determined to be an asset and prepared to take up every opportunity … and let Qatar exceed your expectations too.